So I feel I am now just another statistic, just another 17 year old teenage pregnancy. Struggling to become something in such a judgemental society, with being a new mum, being in a relationship with a man who isn’t my child’s father, finding our own home, career and our way in life with no one but my partner at this point as my dark past remained a secret. The shame and guilt in the back of my mind, friends, peers, and distant family constantly questioning me and reminding me. the lies upon lies to cover the truth I just wanted it all to go away.
my child turned 2 years old. in this time me and my partner split due to personal circumstances and I resided with just my son and for the first time made my own stability. I then moved forwards and met an amazing man and eventually we had another son together. It was at this point I decided to make it known and wrote a letter to my immediate family. I eventually went to the police in 2014 when it dawned on me that there could be other vulnerable people which could also be abused. little did I know that this meant I would relive my whole traumatic experience again. in every single little detail. me and my close friends and family suffered from this and it was difficult for us all to maintain steady relationships as it was an emotional roller coaster for the all of us, my older sister was my rock and supported me the whole way through it.
We stood in court, we gave our evidence although I gave my evidence over video footage, even though I couldn’t see him as I had a protection screen put in place, just by knowing that we were in the same room. I could feel the sweat pouring off me. I was trembling with fear. being cross examined and accused of things that couldn’t be fathomed. this lasted the whole week. and that week felt like a life time. he got 17 and a half years for 11 accounts of abuse towards me and I am unsure of the exact amount of other accounts he got for other crimes committed but if I was to hazard I guess I would say there was 4 more. The judge was so disgusted that they sentenced him on the final day of the trial. I wanted to look at him in the eyes whilst he got sentenced but he wouldn’t make direct eye contact with me. he was sobbing. and this made me feel glad because I was no longer the one crying anymore. I am unsure if I feel that 17 and half years in jail is justice taking into account that he may only serve 8 or 9 years if he is well behaved but I am glad he is no longer able to abuse anyone else in the meanwhile and he will remain on the children’s sex offenders list until he is no longer.